When Healing Gets “Stuck”: How EMDR Can Help

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC

Picture this: you’re walking through your living room and stub your toe on the coffee table. Ouch. Maybe you yelp, mutter a few choice words, or even cry, depending on how bad it was. It hurts in the moment, but usually by the next day, your brain has done its job. The sting is filed away in a mental folder called “stubbed toes,” and life goes on.

Eye movements are at the heart of EMDR therapy, helping the brain reprocess trauma and see past experiences in a new way.

But trauma doesn’t always work that way. Sometimes, when something overwhelming happens, the brain struggles to finish its natural processing cycle. Instead of being filed away, the memory, and all the emotions, sensations, and beliefs attached to it, stays raw and unprocessed. You might find yourself reliving pieces of the event, feeling stuck in certain patterns, or holding onto beliefs like “I’m not safe,” or “I’ll never be good enough.”

Trauma can take many forms. It may be what we often think of as “big T” trauma: events like abuse, accidents, or combat. Or it might be “small t” trauma: the repeated, everyday hurts — like growing up with constant criticism — that quietly shape how you see yourself. At its core, trauma is less about the event itself and more about how overwhelming it felt in the moment, and the story your nervous system carried forward from it.

How EMDR Works

This is where EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) comes in.

EMDR uses gentle, bilateral stimulation — like guided eye movements, tapping, or tones — to help both sides of the brain reconnect and reprocess what got stuck. Think of it like jump-starting your brain’s natural healing system.

You won’t forget the memory, but you may experience it differently. The emotional charge fades, and the old negative belief can shift into something more balanced, supportive, and true. Instead of carrying the weight of “I’m powerless,” you might begin to feel, “I can handle this” or “I am good enough.”

Here’s a short video that explains how EMDR works: Watch the video.

What EMDR Can Help With

EMDR has been shown to help with:

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

• Anxiety and panic attacks

• Depression

• Self-esteem challenges

• Performance anxiety

• Processing stressful life events

• Enhancing peak performance for athletes and performers

Sessions are typically a little longer than traditional talk therapy (usually 80 minutes instead of 50), but often fewer in number. Some people notice meaningful changes in as little as three sessions, while others may need more, depending on their goals and history.

Could EMDR Be Right for You?

Are you an athlete or performer who feels blocked, no matter how hard you train?Do you find yourself stuck in the same relationship patterns again and again?Or maybe you’re carrying old wounds that leave you anxious, exhausted, or doubting your worth?

If any of that resonates, EMDR might be a supportive next step.

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing what happened — it means finding freedom from its grip. If you’re curious about EMDR and how it could support you, I’d love to connect. You can book a session or reach out through my contact form on the website to see if EMDR might be the right fit for you.

About Lianne

I’m Lianne Perry, a therapist in BC who works online with clients across Canada. I specialize in trauma, anxiety, and life transitions, and I’m certified in EMDR — a powerful approach that helps people heal without having to relive every detail of the past. My sessions are grounded, collaborative, and often a mix of talk therapy and practical tools. When I’m not in session, you’ll probably find me hiking with my Aussie, Joey, or sitting by the ocean (my favourite co-therapist).