Gottman Method Couples Therapy: What to Expect in Sessions

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC

In 2018, I had the privilege of completing training in the Gottman Method of Couples' Therapy — including the final level in Seattle with Drs. John and Julie Gottman themselves. To say it was both enlightening and thrilling would be an understatement. Sitting in a room with the very people who developed this approach to relationship therapy was like learning guitar from The Beatles.

What I love about the Gottman Method is that it isn’t just theory — it’s grounded in over 35 years of research. They have studied thousands of couples, sometimes called the “masters” and the “disasters” of relationships, to figure out what makes love last (and what makes it crumble). Out of all that research came a framework that is practical, relatable, and incredibly effective for helping couples reconnect.

The Sound Relationship House

At the heart of the Gottman Method is something called the Sound Relationship House, a simple but powerful model for what makes relationships thrive.

• The foundation: friendship. The first three levels of the House are about how well partners really know each other. Do you share daily details, show appreciation, and respond when your partner reaches out for connection?

• The middle floors: managing conflict. Here, it’s about how couples navigate solvable problems and those “perpetual” issues that never fully go away (think: money, in-laws, or how one person loads the dishwasher). The goal isn’t perfection, but learning how to repair and move forward.

• The attic: dreams and meaning. A healthy relationship isn’t just about surviving conflict — it’s about supporting each other’s dreams and creating shared goals that give your partnership purpose.

• The pillars: trust and commitment. These hold the entire house up. Without them, the structure wobbles. With them, it’s strong and resilient.

The Sound Relationship House, the foundation of the Gottman Method Couples' Therapy. Each level represents key building blocks of a healthy, lasting relationship, supported by trust and commitment.

What to Expect in Gottman Couples Therapy

If you’re thinking about starting Gottman Method couples counselling, here’s how the process usually unfolds:

1. Assessment (first three sessions). Before diving into solutions, we take time to understand your relationship fully — the strengths you bring as a couple and the areas that feel more challenging. This involves conversations, observation, and an individual questionnaire each partner completes.

2. A personalized plan. Once we have the full picture, I put together a roadmap for therapy. Where things are strong, we celebrate and build on them. Where things feel shaky, we focus in with specific strategies.

3. Skill-building and practice. Using Gottman interventions, we practice tools in session — then you try them out in your real lives. This way, therapy isn’t just “talking about problems” but actively learning how to connect, repair, and grow.

Sessions are typically 80 minutes and held weekly or bi-weekly to start. Over time, once you feel more grounded and connected, we can space them out if that feels right.

Why Couples Choose the Gottman Method

The beauty of this approach is that it’s not about picking sides, keeping score, or rehashing every old argument. Instead, it’s about learning skills to build a stronger emotional connection and create a relationship that feels like a safe, supportive partnership.

Whether you’re feeling distant, stuck in the same arguments, or simply want to invest in a healthier future together, Gottman couples therapy can help you find your way back to each other.

✨ Curious to learn more? You can explore the Gottman Institute here — or book a session with me to see how this evidence-based approach can support your relationship.

About Lianne

I’m Lianne Perry, a therapist specializing in Gottman Method Couples’ Therapy. I work with couples online across Canada who want to strengthen their communication, manage conflict, and feel more connected. You don’t need to be in crisis to benefit — many couples I see are simply looking to make a good relationship even better. My style is down-to-earth, practical, and focused on giving you tools you can actually use outside of therapy.