Myth: Healing Means You Won't Be Triggered Anymore

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC

Clarity doesn't always come all at once. Sometimes it settles in slowly.

There’s a quiet expectation that a lot of people carry into therapy.

It sounds something like this: If I do the work, if I heal, I shouldn’t feel this way anymore.

No more big reactions. No more getting thrown off. No more moments where something small suddenly feels like a lot.

And when those moments still happen, it can feel discouraging. Like maybe the work isn’t working. Or like you’ve somehow gone backwards.

But this is one of the most common misunderstandings about healing.

Healing doesn’t erase your responses, it changes your relationship to them

Your nervous system is designed to respond to your environment. That part doesn’t go away.

If something reminds your system of a past experience, especially one that felt overwhelming or unresolved, your body can still react quickly. Sometimes before your thinking brain has had a chance to catch up.

Healing doesn’t mean those responses disappear entirely. It means they start to feel different.

Less intense. Less consuming. Shorter lived.

And over time, easier to understand.

Triggers are not a sign that something is wrong

The word trigger can sometimes feel like a setback. Like something has gone off track.

But in many ways, a trigger is just your system doing exactly what it was designed to do. It’s making a connection between something happening now and something that felt important in the past.

The difference after healing is not that the trigger never happens. It’s that you’re less likely to get completely pulled into it without awareness.

There’s more space.

More ability to notice what’s happening, instead of being fully inside it.

You may actually notice triggers more, not less

This is the part that surprises people.

As you become more aware of your internal experience, you might actually notice triggers more clearly at first. Things that you used to push past or dismiss start to stand out.

That’s not a step backwards.

That’s awareness increasing.

And awareness is what allows change to happen.

The goal is not to never feel activated

It’s to feel more grounded when you do.

It’s to recognize what’s happening in your body and your thoughts, and to respond in a way that feels more aligned with who you are now, not just what you’ve experienced before.

Over time, this might look like:

• recovering more quickly

• feeling less overwhelmed

• understanding your reactions instead of judging them

  
  

These are meaningful shifts, even if the initial reaction still shows up sometimes.

How approaches like EMDR and IFS can help

Approaches like EMDR can help your brain process experiences that previously felt stuck or overwhelming, so they no longer carry the same emotional intensity.

Internal Family Systems, or IFS, can help you understand the different parts of you that show up when you’re triggered, the part that feels overwhelmed, the part that wants to shut things down, or the part that tries to stay in control.

Instead of fighting those reactions, the work becomes about understanding them and supporting those parts so they don’t have to react as strongly.

Closing thoughts

Healing is not about becoming someone who never gets triggered.

It’s about becoming someone who understands their reactions, feels less controlled by them, and can move through them with more steadiness.

If those moments are still happening for you, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong.

It often means you’re in the middle of the work.

Joey’s Take 🐾

Jumped on it a little fast...but I'm getting better at letting go.

I might grab it a bit too quickly…

But I let go faster now.

About Lianne

I’m Lianne Perry, a Registered Clinical Counsellor in BC who works online with clients across Canada. I specialize in trauma, anxiety, and life transitions, and I’m certified in EMDR, a powerful approach that helps people heal without having to relive every detail of the past. My sessions are grounded, collaborative, and often a mix of talk therapy and practical tools. When I’m not in session, you’ll probably find me hiking with my Aussie, Joey, or sitting by the ocean, my favourite co-therapist.