Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Sometimes shutting down is not about avoidance. It is your nervous system trying to protect you. Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and suddenly felt like…you disappeared? Your partner is talking. The tone shifts. Something feels tense. And then it happens. Your chest tightens.Your mind goes blank. You cannot find your words. You just want it to stop. Later, you might think,“Why couldn’t I just say what I meant?”“Why do I always shu

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Late winter on the water. Calm on the surface, slower underneath. Not every season moves ahead at full speed. There is a particular kind of tired that shows up at the end of winter. It is not dramatic. It is not crisis level. It is just heavier. You are functioning. You are working. You are replying to messages. You are doing what needs to be done. But everything feels like it costs more. More effort. More patience. More emotional bandwidth. If you

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC You don't have to feel better to choose something gentler. Many people come into therapy believing there is a sequence they need to follow. First, they heal.Then, they change.Then, life feels easier. So they wait. They wait to feel more confident before setting boundaries. They wait to feel calmer before making decisions. They wait to feel healed before allowing themselves to live differently. And in that waiting, life often stays very small. Where

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC You do not need certainty to pause. There is a belief that quietly keeps a lot of people stuck. It sounds reasonable on the surface. Sensible, even.“I just need to feel more confident before I decide.”“Once I’m sure, then I’ll act.”“I’m not ready yet.” The problem is that for many people, confidence never arrives first. Waiting for it can mean waiting indefinitely. Where this myth comes from We are often taught that good decisions come from certain

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Not certainty. Just enough steadiness to keep moving. There is a moment in therapy that does not look dramatic from the outside, but I notice it every time. A client will be talking through a situation that used to send them straight into overthinking. Maybe a relationship decision, a work choice, or a boundary they are considering. Instead of asking, “What do you think I should do?” they pause. They reflect. They might still feel unsure, but they

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC You can keep going, even when the path is not fully clear yet. If you find yourself second guessing even small decisions, you are not alone. Clients often say things like, “I know what I want, but I do not trust myself to choose it,” or “I feel frozen unless someone else confirms I am doing the right thing.” These moments are often followed by frustration, self criticism, or the quiet fear that something is wrong with them. There is not. Struggling

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC A path that slowly opens as you keep moving forward. People often come to therapy believing they are the exception. They have tried before. They understand their patterns. They can explain exactly why they feel the way they do. And yet, nothing seems to change. So they arrive saying things like,“I think this is just how I am.”“I’ve been like this forever.”“I don’t really believe things can shift for me.” These beliefs usually sound calm on the surf

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC A quiet place to pause and notice what's present. Anxiety has a way of convincing people that it is a personal failure. If you feel anxious, your mind often jumps to questions like,“What is wrong with me?”“Why can’t I just calm down?”“Other people seem to handle this better than I do.” This myth is powerful because anxiety feels so uncomfortable. When your heart races, your thoughts spiral, or your body stays tense, it is easy to assume something i

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC A space to slow down and meet yourself with kindness. Valentine’s Day has a way of amplifying feelings that are already there. For some people, it is sweet and connective. For others, it brings up loneliness, grief, pressure, or a quiet sense of not measuring up. And for many, it is simply complicated. What often makes Valentine’s Day harder is not the day itself, but the story it tells about what love is supposed to look like. The messages are lou

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC A quiet moment of orienting after waking. Many people come into their first EMDR sessions curious, hopeful, and a little unsure. They often ask some version of the same question.“What is actually happening in my brain when we do this?” It is a fair question. EMDR can look simple from the outside, but a lot is going on under the surface. Before anything changes, safety comes first One of the most important things to understand about EMDR is that it

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Noticing before responding. Have you ever noticed how quickly your nervous system starts scanning a room? Someone sighs. A tone shifts. A pause lingers a beat too long. And before you even realize it, you are already trying to fix it. You soften your words. You explain yourself more. You change the subject. You take responsibility for something that may not actually belong to you. Many people who come to therapy tell me some version of this.“I just

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Finding your footing again does not always require big changes. Sometimes it starts with one steady moment. There is a moment I see often in therapy. It is quiet, a little tender, and almost always followed by a deep breath. A client pauses, softens a bit, and says something like, “I feel more like myself again.” Not because they quit their job, moved across the country, or reinvented their entire life.But because something inside has shifted. The

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC A quiet West Coast moment that reflects the calm clarity healthy boundaries create. The Myth That Boundaries Ruin Relationships, And What Healthy Ones Actually Do If you have ever worried that setting a boundary will make someone upset, pull them away from you, or make things awkward, you are in very good company. Many people sit in session with a soft sigh, look at me through the screen, and say something like, “I know I should say something, but

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Sometimes the surface looks calm even when something deeper is trying to be heard. There is a moment in online therapy that I see all the time. You smile. You shrug. You tell me you are fine.And at the exact same time, something in your body quietly gives you away. Maybe your shoulders rise toward your ears. Maybe your breath gets tight. Maybe your eyes look everywhere but the screen. Maybe your voice lifts a little higher than usual, like you are

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC A calm, inviting space can help the nervous system settle. Even small moments of comfort remind the brain it does not have to brace for the worst. Have you ever noticed how your brain can snap into worst case scenario mode faster than you can say what if? One small worry turns into an entire mental movie of everything going wrong. Suddenly you are ten steps into the future, trying to prepare for storms that have not even formed yet. It is exhaustin

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Light always finds its way through, even in the thickest part of the forest. Resilience doesn’t mean never breaking When people hear the word resilience , they often picture someone who’s unshakable. Calm in every storm. Always getting back up with a smile. But real resilience isn’t about being unbreakable. It’s about learning that even when life knocks you down, you can mend. Healing teaches us that strength isn’t the absence of pain. It’s what yo

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC We can look back to understand, but the real healing happens in the here and now. The myth that never seems to retire If I had a seashell for every time someone said, “I don’t want to spend years talking about my childhood,” I’d have quite the collection by now. It’s one of the most common hesitations people have about starting therapy. Somewhere along the way, therapy got a reputation for being a deep dive into the past, complete with endless repl

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Some seasons feel like standing at the edge of the water. Wide open. Quiet. A little overwhelming. And still, there is room to breathe. The holidays are supposed to feel warm and joyful. Every commercial shows twinkly lights, family harmony, and people laughing over perfectly timed cookies. But if you find yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or unexpectedly sad this time of year, you are not alone. The holidays have a way of stirring the deeper

Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC Morning light, warm coffee, and quiet moments before the first session begins. The calm you see and the chaos you don’t From the outside, online therapy can look pretty serene. A softly lit office, a tidy background, maybe a plant or two. What you don’t see on camera is the dog stationed just out of view, the tea that went cold three sessions ago, and the quiet shuffle between holding space for deep emotions and remembering to drink water. Therapis

Some days the waves feel steady. Other days, they crash and pull. Healing is learning how to stay afloat through both. Lianne Perry, MA, MSc., RCC When life feels too much or not enough Some days you can handle traffic, tough conversations, and a forgotten lunch all in one go. Other days, one small thing, like spilling coffee on your shirt, makes you want to crawl under a blanket and stay there. That difference isn’t about strength or willpower. It’s about your window of tole